Slow Fade

Sunday, March 28, 2010

So it's been a while. Life has been crazy with work, school (7 more classes and I'm done from this near 7 year seminary journey, wohooo!), mommyhood and wifey duties. So glad I have some free time to myself. It's then that I can reflect on life and my favorite topic, love. Last night I attended the Casting Crowns concert. If you've never heard of them, youtube them. It was three hours of music that inspired and challenged listeners to live a different life. Some songs were like prayers to God, others told a story.

One song stood out to me because it reminded me of my life. In my 20s I spent a lot of time searching for love but in that search I turned my back on God. And if you've been reading this blog for long you know that there is no separating the two if you want the real thing. With each guy I dated I compromised a part of my life in the hopes that real love would emerge. Turning my back on the One that is Love led to some very poor dating relationships and lots of unnecessary heartache. I am attaching the lyrics (read them) and a video. How often do we give of ourselves when we shouldn't, we settle because we don't believe or accept that we do deserve the best and that God has that in mind for us. In our impatience we slowly fade into that which we never intended to be. The importance here is that if are willing to settle in our dating life and in our own lives, then imagine what your married life will look like.

Although the song may have multiple meanings depending on how you interpret it here, I believe it is relevant to a life longing for love, searching for the one, currently in a relationship you hope will turn into something it was never intended to be. My challenge is not to settle, not to believe the flattery dished out, but to critically look at your dating life. Are you willing to settle? Are you currently settling? Are you making excuses for why you're dating who you are, or is he/she really what you want/need for your life? What will life look like if your faith wavers and you believe that this is the best you will get? Are they the One God had in mind for you? The more honest you are with your dating life, the quicker you can make a decision as to whether or not to enter into/continue in a relationship rather than slowly fading and ending up in a forever with someone who is far from being the One.

Slow Fade by Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

CHORUS:
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

CHORUS

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

CHORUS

Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

*Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see*

A Tale of a Man and His One

This month I wanted to feature the male perspective to this journey to finding the One. My brother-in-law Sammy is a new church pastor of Arise Christian Church, a self proclaimed Nuyorican and one of the funniest and fun guys I know. He's down to earth, He loves God, he's a talented drummer, a Disney fanatic and best of all, he's my little sister's One and a soon to be daddy! Their relationship was an example to me as I was on my own journey in search, or waiting, for my One. I hope you enjoy and learn a little bit more...from a man's perspective.

1. How long have you and Hilda been married?
We’ve been happily married 6 1/2 years.

2. How long did you date?
We dated for about 1 year and 2 months, and were engaged for about 10 months.

3. How did you know she was the One?
To be perfectly honest, it was NOT immediately. Hilda and I have a humorous love story, one that we love to share with others. We met at our local church in Orlando as teenagers. We were friends for many years, and even went through a period of time where we did not like each other...at all. We each had our own relationships with other people, and little did we know we were each critiquing each others boyfriend/girlfriend. Our friendship turned into one of caring for each other, but we were each too “Nuyorican” to express it to one another.
One August Friday evening in 2001, after not seeing each other all summer, we found ourselves both single at the same time. We both expressed to one another that we were single, and I kid-you-not, it was like a movie: the heavens opened up, and the angles started singing “hallelujah.” (not literally, but you get the dramatic emphasis) It was like God softened our hearts, and our true feelings for each other came out, and the rest is history. On that evening, we both just knew. I cannot really explain it, and I’m sure reading this makes absolutely no sense, but it’s a true story.

4. What personality traits or characteristics did Hilda have that confirmed to you at that time that she was the One?
I would be lying if I didn’t say that I found Hilda to be absolutely beautiful, and I still do today. I admired her hard work and work ethic, her passion, and her humor. We would always find a way to laugh and have fun. She has a sincere love for the Lord, and that was an important quality that I wanted in a wife, and future mother. All in all, she was the missing link in my life. Little did I know that these traits and characteristics would be used to fulfill the calling that God has given us to be church planters.

5. What was being single like for you pre-Hilda? Did you date a lot, or not so much, did you date for fun, or were you always on the search for the One?
Oh my, this is a tough question to answer as a guy. Pre-Hilda was an adventure and growing experience for me. I realize now that God was preparing me for such a time as this. I did date women, and had long-term relationships. I did search for the One, and I didn’t want to get married “old.” It’s not that I did anything stupid or irresponsible, it was just that “pre-Hilda” was a period of learning and growth for “forever with Hilda.”

6. How do you feel God continues to confirm that Hilda is the One for you?
While we have much in common, it is also true that opposites attract. Hilda and I share a strong passion for God and ministry. It’s an AMAZING feeling to be involved in front-line ministry along side the one you love. Yet, our differences and individual strengths also compliment our relationship. We have learned the importance and value of teamwork throughout our marriage, and that just fortifies our love. The expectation of our first child in the next few months has opened up a whole new level of our relationship, and we’re having totally new discussions. And as a result, our love for each other continues to flourish and grow.

7. Any advice you would give young singles searching for the One?
Single men: man up!!! This 21st century culture needs real men: men that love God; men that give good testimony; men that do not live double-lives; men that are responsible; men that help cultivate a Christian home; men that honor the humanity, dignity, and dreams of women; men that are recovering “machos.” Marriage is more than just the wedding night and the honeymoon. Marriage is a responsibility and a covenant. You want to find the One? Get your life on track first.

8. Where did God fit into that journey for you?
I find myself resonating with Psalm 124, because if the Lord had not been on my side, who knows what kinds of story I would be sharing today. I thank God that in both my low moments and high moments I clung onto Him, and I praise Him even more because He responded, continually displaying that He is faithful. In all my life successes, in all my accomplishments, and in all my experiences, if the Lord had not been on my side, they would have meant nothing. The journey I was on is not over. I am still on it! I just feel blessed to have the One, so we can walk it together.