When You Least Expect It....

How often have you heard that one?! You'll find the one....when you least expect it. Or...When you're not looking he/she will show up! I hated those phrases when I was single! I hated them because I was expecting, and actively looking...I.was.on.the.prowl! Ok, maybe not so cat-like but I was definitely keeping my eyes out for my one. And I thought I had found my one...and more than once I might sadly add.

But of course, hind sight is 20/20 and tonight I share my insight into the whole idea of, "You'll find the one when you least expect it." I'm coming at this from my own experience because it highlights for me the truth of that statement. Here's the thing...One day, I stopped searching, expecting, looking, waiting for the one. I decided instead to set my heart on the One (Christ) cause I had been running and playing games with that relationship for way too many years.

• When I stopped looking for the one, I freed up time (mental, emotional, spiritual) to spend with the One. No more worrying about when or if I would have date or someone pining over me...just me and the Big Guy upstairs, chilling.

• As I spent time with the One, I discovered purpose.

• As I discovered purpose, my mind and heart's desires were transformed, renewed, reshaped.

• My desires shifted from wanting/needing to find love for myself, to giving/sharing Love with others.

• As I shared Love with others I became outward focused...servant minded.

• Being outward focused opened me up to new relationships, new adventures, took me places I never imagined I would go (umm, can we say seminary up in freezing cold and dreary Indiana?!).

• When I was focused on the One, I was free, at peace, fearless, confident in my place/purpose in this world, submitted- not My will Lord, but yours. The old me, gone...just me and my One and whatever was to come. < - sometimes I drop sweet rhymes!

• When I was focused on the One, it was no longer all about me...and then it happened...when I wasn't looking, when I least expected it....Bobby.

Although my husband knew me for 2 years before we began dating, he will tell you how unattractive I was to him (btw I wasn't doing any double takes for him either!). He saw in me a difficult young woman, stubbornly opinionated, domineering, shallow, selfish, and I'll throw in prideful. And so while he wasn't looking (at me), and while I was outward/upward focused, it happened....because the young woman I became was the kind of young woman that could be loved...because I learned to love. To love without expecting anything in return, to see others as Christ sees them/me...imperfect, broken, hurting, and yet completely, unconditionally loveable.

I had learned that it was never about me but about me serving and sharing that Love with others. And to Bobby, that was beautiful. Not only that, as my heart and mind changed, I saw men through new eyes; what was once attractive was now unappealing, what mattered now...heart, authentic faith, humility.

So yea, when you least expect it...when you aren't looking...it could happen....