Heather & Brannen...Love Unexpected

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Heather and Brannen are amazing friends of ours who moved across the country (and way too far from me!!) to Austin, TX to do some great work in that city...check it out here. I asked Heather to share about her own life's journey and how it led her to Brannen....I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did!

1. How long have you and Brannen been married?
5 years on June 11th.

2. How long did you date?
We were friends for 6 months, then dated for a year and a half before marriage.

3. How did you know he was the One?
I wouldn't say it was a "moment" but a period of time. When I got to know him and saw how much he really submitted to the Lord, I found comfort in putting my life in his hands and being married to him. For me, realizing that I trusted him enough that I would go anywhere, and do anything with him was the realization for me that he was the one. I knew that no matter what, God had given me a husband to journey through the good times and the obstacles of life with. (Now, years later good thing I trusted him because we ended up leaving the home I was raised and moved to Austin, Tx to start a church!) Not exactly my comfort zone, leaving everything I knew behind, but being with a man that I know submits to God about everything, makes it easy for me to be willing to move anywhere and do anything for him.

4. What personality traits or characteristics did Brannen have which confirmed to you at that time that he was the One?

1) Submitting to God. If a man or woman says they love God but don't show geniune submission and sacrifice for God, then run the other way. 2) Humility. I would say alot of women overlook humility. In fact, I wasn't particularly looking for this trait in a man. However, when I met Brannen his life was full of humility. The natural product of humility is a servant-heart. My advice would be to look for a man or woman who has a pattern of servanthood, otherwise they won't make a good husband or wife. If one person is a servant and the other is selfish, this will lead to an abusive relationship - emotionally and even physically and/or sexually. Futher, if a woman is prideful she won't let her husband lead, if a man is prideful then he'll lead a family selfishly. Humility is in my book the number one thing I would go back and look for.

5. What was being single like for you pre-Brannen? Did you date a lot, or not so much, did you date for fun, or were you always on the search for the One?
Before Brannen I dated a few guys for briefly. However, I dated one guy pretty seriously - as serious as a high school relationship can be I guess. I wouldn't say I was ever the girl that couldn't wait to get married. Finding a man wasn't priority number one in my life. I was really busy in my life with soccer and school, so I had little time to think about a relationship. In fact, I still remember my girlfriends telling me that I would be the last one out of our group to get married. In deed, God has a sense of humor and I ended up being the first one to get married out of my friends. I believe when you are content in God and not being absorbed by wanting/needing a man or woman then God can bless that in his timing if we are truly dependent on him alone.

6. How do you feel God continues to confirm that Brannen is the One for you?
Everyday, I wake up and think about how blessed I am. I know most married people might say something like, "Don't get married," or have some negative remark about marriage. However, for me I have loved being married to a man that constantly serves me and leads me well. I once heard my professor say, "I wouldn't mind submitting to a man, if I found one who was worth submitting to." In my opinion there are 3 things that are a MUST in any relationship. 1) Seeking God 2) Trust 3) Humility. If one of these is lacking, I would run the opposite direction. God shows me everyday that Brannen is the one for me in the little things Brannen does each day to show his love. Little things like serving me, complimenting me, and when I see Brannen's character and his pursuit after God - I'm 100 percent convinced he is the one God has for me.

7. Any advice you would give young singles searching for the One?
I would say, be patient, enjoy single life and the stage that God has you in. I look back and think about all the fun I had when I was single. I know many women just want to hurry up and get married; however, God uses you and chooses to make an impact through you at the stage of life you are in. Now, I love being married and having a little boy and God is using me at this stage in my life. So I guess I'm trying to say, be dependent upon God because you will see His will for your life through giving up everything to him. Another must is prayer, let God know what you are looking for. Also, read read read. Study the word, read books on dating and marriage. Seek the counsel of those who have been where you are. I would also say a must is to write down a list of characteristics that you want to look for in a man.

8. Where did God fit into that journey for you?
I was not raised in church, and gave my life to Jesus in my teens. When entering college, I'd say I made my first real attempt to whole heartedly seek after God. Previously to this, I had just come out of a pretty big party stage and at this point was now ready to give everything over to God. I pursued God not a relationship and that's when I met Brannen. The funny thing is I wasn't really interested in dating at the time and I thought he was "alright." :) I still laugh now because I am madly in love with Brannen, and once I saw how he pursued Christ I definitely fell hard for him.

If I could end by saying - It's easy when you're in love to be fooled by a person. It's not so easy for that person to fool your family, friends and those around you. Therefore, seek out Godly counsel on whether the man/woman you are dating is right for you. If you are the only one that thinks the person you are dating is amazing, then you just might be in a blurry cloud of love that's not true love and not a healthy or godly relationship to be in.

Thank you Heather!!

Happily Ever After

Hi All! I will be featuring some couples in my upcoming posts who have inspiring stories of hope and love. I hope through them you can gain the wisdom and patience needed throughout this journey.

Move Girl, Get Out the Way!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

No one does better at sabotaging the work God wants to do in our lives better than we do. We stand in the way of God all the while yelling, crying, fist pumping to high heaven, asking Him to step in and take over. Then we proceed to stand in His way, do what we want to do and then dare ask, "Where is God in this?!" Been there, done it, doesn't work.

Ladies today I ask you to move and get out of His way. If you want to allow God to fulfill His purpose for your life you need to put your own personal agenda aside. Put faith and patience into action (instead of merely requiring it of others). If God created you, don't you think He had some idea for what He wanted your life to look like? I know this...He loves us. He wants to bless us. He wants us to be full of joy. He wants us to be loved. In the journey of finding the One, don't you think maybe, just maybe, he knows what you need. He knows what kind of man can give you "forever"? He has that man picked out for you? Yes he does!

I believe God answers us in 3 ways:
1. Yes.
2. Not Yet.
3. I have something better in mind.

So move girl. get out the way and let Him show you the beauty He has in store for you!

New Year...New Life

Sunday, January 3, 2010


In the spirit of New Year and new possibilities I challenge all the single ladies (can you hear Beyoncé, I can) to take on the year with a new perspective and challenge yourselves to live this year unlike the rest. Some things to consider:

1. Invest in your girlfriends. So often we get wrapped up in our singleness pity party and neglect the females in our lives who we use as sounding boards as we recap every high and low of our current relationships. Therefore, this year, vow to spend some honest quality time with your girlfriends, not focused on men, but rather on each other. A good friendship will outlast many a bad relationship with a guy, make sure you're cultivating deep bonds with women who can love, support and encourage you as well as let you be yourself. So go grab some coffee, a glass of wine, a movie or take in some shopping with just the girls, do it often, do it soon.

2. Focus on your parents. As we get older we start to believe we know more than our parents and in turn can easily be driven mad by them. If any of you are like I was in my 20s avoiding time with parents was essential to freeing up time to pine over the latest crush. However, time with our parents is limited. The older we get the more we can really learn from and about them. Spend time asking them what their hopes and dreams were, what their love lives were like, what decisions were critical to the direction they took in life. There's a lot of wisdom that may be gained from this as well as an understanding of why they are who they are today. I wish I had learned this earlier in life while my mom was still capable of having such convos. As a stroke survivor she is now disabled and I often look at her with regret that I wasted so much time on stupid boys and not enough on getting to really know her.

3. Don't forget the siblings. Take time to nurture your relationship with your siblings. God put you together for a reason. There are conversations to be had, experiences to live out, laughs to share and memories to make. There are also lessons to be learned from each other including unconditional love, patience, forgiveness and understanding. My relationship with my sisters was pretty strained during my early 20s since I was completely immature, self-focused, and a bit boy crazy. Now that we're all married and in our (early) 30s our relationships are stronger than ever. I wish I had spent more time listening to them and seeking out their advice when I was in my 20s as they had great wisdom to share and deep down inside I longed for the type of marriages they had. A few years ago I heard from one of them that they had been praying together for me, that I would "get it" and refocus my life on where it should be focused. I believe their prayers saved my life and assured I would one day meet my One.

4. Live in the right now! Right now, not the past, not tomorrow, not what could be, but right now. We are so future and past focused and we fail to live in the present, the here and now. God calls us to leave tomorrow to Him and not worry about it. We are alive today and you may be single today so live with it and embrace and love today because God gave you today for a reason and a purpose. Each day determines your future, so make it count. As much as you may want to fast forward to meeting the One or your wedding day, you can't so get over it and live in the right now. Each day is a gift from God whereby He is refining you, perfecting you, and transforming me you into the woman He has created you to be and guess what, He's doing the same with your One, wherever he may be. So today pray for your tomorrow, thank God for the things He is doing right now in you and in your One because one day it will all make sense.

5. Give God a chance. If you don't have a relationship with God, I challenge you to seek one out, He's been waiting for you. He loves you so much and if you've tried everything else and it hasn't worked, well you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! If you do know Christ, then I challenge you to deepen your relationship with Him. Get into the Word, journal, join a small group, be consistent with attending church, carve out daily time to worship, talk and/or just listen. His work in us is never complete, our imaginations can't even fathom the things He has planned for us. That thought alone excites me because He is so good, and as such, everything He has in store for us is good!

6. Lastly, do the opposite, specifically in the area of love and relationships. Think back on the failures or the tough ones and the decisions or actions you made that may have contributed to their demise. Even dating a guy you knew deep down you shouldn't have, just cause you were feeling lonely or unloved. Do the opposite! If you dated losers (and we all know that we knew they were losers when we chose to date them so don't front like you didn't know lol) hold out for a winner. If you wanted a guy with your values don't settle for anything less. If you dated to feel complete, loved, attractive, or not alone, you need to stop that nonsense, no guy can do that for you cause all those issues are about us, not them. So do the opposite. Focus on you. Who does God want you to be? Make a list of the qualities and values you want in the One and don't settle or lower your standards (unless they're unrealistic) but instead place them in God's hands and trust He will come through. One of 2 things can happen. 1. He'll give you everything you've desired in the One or 2. He'll change you so much that your desires become God's desires for your life and in turn you'll be patient enough to wait for the One God has just for you.

Here's to hoping for lots of love, happiness and answered prayers in this new year!