In the spirit of New Year and new possibilities I challenge all the single ladies (can you hear Beyoncé, I can) to take on the year with a new perspective and challenge yourselves to live this year unlike the rest. Some things to consider:
1. Invest in your girlfriends. So often we get wrapped up in our singleness pity party and neglect the females in our lives who we use as sounding boards as we recap every high and low of our current relationships. Therefore, this year, vow to spend some honest quality time with your girlfriends, not focused on men, but rather on each other. A good friendship will outlast many a bad relationship with a guy, make sure you're cultivating deep bonds with women who can love, support and encourage you as well as let you be yourself. So go grab some coffee, a glass of wine, a movie or take in some shopping with just the girls, do it often, do it soon.
2. Focus on your parents. As we get older we start to believe we know more than our parents and in turn can easily be driven mad by them. If any of you are like I was in my 20s avoiding time with parents was essential to freeing up time to pine over the latest crush. However, time with our parents is limited. The older we get the more we can really learn from and about them. Spend time asking them what their hopes and dreams were, what their love lives were like, what decisions were critical to the direction they took in life. There's a lot of wisdom that may be gained from this as well as an understanding of why they are who they are today. I wish I had learned this earlier in life while my mom was still capable of having such convos. As a stroke survivor she is now disabled and I often look at her with regret that I wasted so much time on stupid boys and not enough on getting to really know her.
3. Don't forget the siblings. Take time to nurture your relationship with your siblings. God put you together for a reason. There are conversations to be had, experiences to live out, laughs to share and memories to make. There are also lessons to be learned from each other including unconditional love, patience, forgiveness and understanding. My relationship with my sisters was pretty strained during my early 20s since I was completely immature, self-focused, and a bit boy crazy. Now that we're all married and in our (early) 30s our relationships are stronger than ever. I wish I had spent more time listening to them and seeking out their advice when I was in my 20s as they had great wisdom to share and deep down inside I longed for the type of marriages they had. A few years ago I heard from one of them that they had been praying together for me, that I would "get it" and refocus my life on where it should be focused. I believe their prayers saved my life and assured I would one day meet my One.
4. Live in the right now! Right now, not the past, not tomorrow, not what could be, but right now. We are so future and past focused and we fail to live in the present, the here and now. God calls us to leave tomorrow to Him and not worry about it. We are alive today and you may be single today so live with it and embrace and love today because God gave you today for a reason and a purpose. Each day determines your future, so make it count. As much as you may want to fast forward to meeting the One or your wedding day, you can't so get over it and live in the right now. Each day is a gift from God whereby He is refining you, perfecting you, and transforming me you into the woman He has created you to be and guess what, He's doing the same with your One, wherever he may be. So today pray for your tomorrow, thank God for the things He is doing right now in you and in your One because one day it will all make sense.
5. Give God a chance. If you don't have a relationship with God, I challenge you to seek one out, He's been waiting for you. He loves you so much and if you've tried everything else and it hasn't worked, well you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! If you do know Christ, then I challenge you to deepen your relationship with Him. Get into the Word, journal, join a small group, be consistent with attending church, carve out daily time to worship, talk and/or just listen. His work in us is never complete, our imaginations can't even fathom the things He has planned for us. That thought alone excites me because He is so good, and as such, everything He has in store for us is good!
6. Lastly, do the opposite, specifically in the area of love and relationships. Think back on the failures or the tough ones and the decisions or actions you made that may have contributed to their demise. Even dating a guy you knew deep down you shouldn't have, just cause you were feeling lonely or unloved. Do the opposite! If you dated losers (and we all know that we knew they were losers when we chose to date them so don't front like you didn't know lol) hold out for a winner. If you wanted a guy with your values don't settle for anything less. If you dated to feel complete, loved, attractive, or not alone, you need to stop that nonsense, no guy can do that for you cause all those issues are about us, not them. So do the opposite. Focus on you. Who does God want you to be? Make a list of the qualities and values you want in the One and don't settle or lower your standards (unless they're unrealistic) but instead place them in God's hands and trust He will come through. One of 2 things can happen. 1. He'll give you everything you've desired in the One or 2. He'll change you so much that your desires become God's desires for your life and in turn you'll be patient enough to wait for the One God has just for you.
Here's to hoping for lots of love, happiness and answered prayers in this new year!
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