Thursday, January 28, 2010Heather and Brannen are amazing friends of ours who moved across the country (and way too far from me!!) to Austin, TX to do some great work in that city...check it out here. I asked Heather to share about her own life's journey and how it led her to Brannen....I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did!
1. How long have you and Brannen been married?
5 years on June 11th.
2. How long did you date?
We were friends for 6 months, then dated for a year and a half before marriage.
3. How did you know he was the One?
I wouldn't say it was a "moment" but a period of time. When I got to know him and saw how much he really submitted to the Lord, I found comfort in putting my life in his hands and being married to him. For me, realizing that I trusted him enough that I would go anywhere, and do anything with him was the realization for me that he was the one. I knew that no matter what, God had given me a husband to journey through the good times and the obstacles of life with. (Now, years later good thing I trusted him because we ended up leaving the home I was raised and moved to Austin, Tx to start a church!) Not exactly my comfort zone, leaving everything I knew behind, but being with a man that I know submits to God about everything, makes it easy for me to be willing to move anywhere and do anything for him.
4. What personality traits or characteristics did Brannen have which confirmed to you at that time that he was the One?
1) Submitting to God. If a man or woman says they love God but don't show geniune submission and sacrifice for God, then run the other way. 2) Humility. I would say alot of women overlook humility. In fact, I wasn't particularly looking for this trait in a man. However, when I met Brannen his life was full of humility. The natural product of humility is a servant-heart. My advice would be to look for a man or woman who has a pattern of servanthood, otherwise they won't make a good husband or wife. If one person is a servant and the other is selfish, this will lead to an abusive relationship - emotionally and even physically and/or sexually. Futher, if a woman is prideful she won't let her husband lead, if a man is prideful then he'll lead a family selfishly. Humility is in my book the number one thing I would go back and look for.
5. What was being single like for you pre-Brannen? Did you date a lot, or not so much, did you date for fun, or were you always on the search for the One?
Before Brannen I dated a few guys for briefly. However, I dated one guy pretty seriously - as serious as a high school relationship can be I guess. I wouldn't say I was ever the girl that couldn't wait to get married. Finding a man wasn't priority number one in my life. I was really busy in my life with soccer and school, so I had little time to think about a relationship. In fact, I still remember my girlfriends telling me that I would be the last one out of our group to get married. In deed, God has a sense of humor and I ended up being the first one to get married out of my friends. I believe when you are content in God and not being absorbed by wanting/needing a man or woman then God can bless that in his timing if we are truly dependent on him alone.
6. How do you feel God continues to confirm that Brannen is the One for you?
Everyday, I wake up and think about how blessed I am. I know most married people might say something like, "Don't get married," or have some negative remark about marriage. However, for me I have loved being married to a man that constantly serves me and leads me well. I once heard my professor say, "I wouldn't mind submitting to a man, if I found one who was worth submitting to." In my opinion there are 3 things that are a MUST in any relationship. 1) Seeking God 2) Trust 3) Humility. If one of these is lacking, I would run the opposite direction. God shows me everyday that Brannen is the one for me in the little things Brannen does each day to show his love. Little things like serving me, complimenting me, and when I see Brannen's character and his pursuit after God - I'm 100 percent convinced he is the one God has for me.
7. Any advice you would give young singles searching for the One?
I would say, be patient, enjoy single life and the stage that God has you in. I look back and think about all the fun I had when I was single. I know many women just want to hurry up and get married; however, God uses you and chooses to make an impact through you at the stage of life you are in. Now, I love being married and having a little boy and God is using me at this stage in my life. So I guess I'm trying to say, be dependent upon God because you will see His will for your life through giving up everything to him. Another must is prayer, let God know what you are looking for. Also, read read read. Study the word, read books on dating and marriage. Seek the counsel of those who have been where you are. I would also say a must is to write down a list of characteristics that you want to look for in a man.
8. Where did God fit into that journey for you?
I was not raised in church, and gave my life to Jesus in my teens. When entering college, I'd say I made my first real attempt to whole heartedly seek after God. Previously to this, I had just come out of a pretty big party stage and at this point was now ready to give everything over to God. I pursued God not a relationship and that's when I met Brannen. The funny thing is I wasn't really interested in dating at the time and I thought he was "alright." :) I still laugh now because I am madly in love with Brannen, and once I saw how he pursued Christ I definitely fell hard for him.
If I could end by saying - It's easy when you're in love to be fooled by a person. It's not so easy for that person to fool your family, friends and those around you. Therefore, seek out Godly counsel on whether the man/woman you are dating is right for you. If you are the only one that thinks the person you are dating is amazing, then you just might be in a blurry cloud of love that's not true love and not a healthy or godly relationship to be in.
Thank you Heather!!Before Brannen I dated a few guys for briefly. However, I dated one guy pretty seriously - as serious as a high school relationship can be I guess. I wouldn't say I was ever the girl that couldn't wait to get married. Finding a man wasn't priority number one in my life. I was really busy in my life with soccer and school, so I had little time to think about a relationship. In fact, I still remember my girlfriends telling me that I would be the last one out of our group to get married. In deed, God has a sense of humor and I ended up being the first one to get married out of my friends. I believe when you are content in God and not being absorbed by wanting/needing a man or woman then God can bless that in his timing if we are truly dependent on him alone.
6. How do you feel God continues to confirm that Brannen is the One for you?
Everyday, I wake up and think about how blessed I am. I know most married people might say something like, "Don't get married," or have some negative remark about marriage. However, for me I have loved being married to a man that constantly serves me and leads me well. I once heard my professor say, "I wouldn't mind submitting to a man, if I found one who was worth submitting to." In my opinion there are 3 things that are a MUST in any relationship. 1) Seeking God 2) Trust 3) Humility. If one of these is lacking, I would run the opposite direction. God shows me everyday that Brannen is the one for me in the little things Brannen does each day to show his love. Little things like serving me, complimenting me, and when I see Brannen's character and his pursuit after God - I'm 100 percent convinced he is the one God has for me.
7. Any advice you would give young singles searching for the One?
I would say, be patient, enjoy single life and the stage that God has you in. I look back and think about all the fun I had when I was single. I know many women just want to hurry up and get married; however, God uses you and chooses to make an impact through you at the stage of life you are in. Now, I love being married and having a little boy and God is using me at this stage in my life. So I guess I'm trying to say, be dependent upon God because you will see His will for your life through giving up everything to him. Another must is prayer, let God know what you are looking for. Also, read read read. Study the word, read books on dating and marriage. Seek the counsel of those who have been where you are. I would also say a must is to write down a list of characteristics that you want to look for in a man.
8. Where did God fit into that journey for you?
I was not raised in church, and gave my life to Jesus in my teens. When entering college, I'd say I made my first real attempt to whole heartedly seek after God. Previously to this, I had just come out of a pretty big party stage and at this point was now ready to give everything over to God. I pursued God not a relationship and that's when I met Brannen. The funny thing is I wasn't really interested in dating at the time and I thought he was "alright." :) I still laugh now because I am madly in love with Brannen, and once I saw how he pursued Christ I definitely fell hard for him.
If I could end by saying - It's easy when you're in love to be fooled by a person. It's not so easy for that person to fool your family, friends and those around you. Therefore, seek out Godly counsel on whether the man/woman you are dating is right for you. If you are the only one that thinks the person you are dating is amazing, then you just might be in a blurry cloud of love that's not true love and not a healthy or godly relationship to be in.
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